


it's all over (but the aftermath)

by IsleofSolitude



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family Dynamics, Gen, Pining, Post Series, Slice of Life, angsty, friendships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:55:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17266253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofSolitude/pseuds/IsleofSolitude
Summary: All around Inuyasha, the flowers slowly unfurled, letting the newborn animals experience the beauty of growth and color, smells returning after a long cold winter, the sun shining down on the ever-growing green world.Inuyasha never noticed any of it.It was spring, and Kagome was gone.The seasons pass as Inuyasha adjusts.





	1. 1.1 Summer

The air was humid, and Inuyasha’s robes stuck to him. He had already discarded the top of his fire rat kimono, and he scowled again at the back of the blasted monk’s head.

“Yo! Monk. How many more trips are you expecting me to make?”

Miroku cracked a smile over his shoulder. “Why, Inuyasha, is your strength starting to flag? Do we need to let you sit with Shippo and drink water and rest?”

Inuyasha was sorely tempted to smack him with one of the several tree trunks he dragged behind him on a sling. “Don’t be stupid. I can keep going all day!”

The black hair monk smirked. “Thank you for agreeing to keep working!” He picked up his pace, whistling as he held a lousy armful of branches and led the way.

It took another fifteen minutes for Inuyasha to realize what had happened. “Hey, wait, Miroku! Damn you!”

* * *

The half demon sat to the side, out of the way of the hustle and bustle of villagers. Miroku was flitting from group to group, discussing plans and being the first to grab the rope to haul something around, or hold something in place.

Spring had been especially rainy this year, so the villagers claimed, and so Miroku and Sango’s plans had been delayed quite a bit. After Naraku’s defeat, the couple had married in a beautiful ceremony--or so Kaede and Shippo claimed--but had devoted their time to restoring the village that Naraku had tried to destroy with his death rattle.

That left Sango and Miroku living with Kaede. With Kohaku and Shippo staying as well, it was quite crowded. So once the rain had stopped, and the village was mostly back to normal, the no-longer cursed monk had turned his attention to house hunting.

There were some houses that were basically gone, and some houses that needed some fixing up but their inhabitants were long gone. Miroku and Sango had discussed it for days and finally chose a half destroyed but large building on the other side of the water from Kaede’s. Still within sight, they figuredit would be easier to help protect the village from any youkai who dared to show up, as well as keep them fairly close to Kaede’s hut should they be needed.

Inuyasha stayed on the sidelines, only approaching when specifically called for a task, for the rest of the day. As the sun began to drift down, the village men began to bid Miroku farewell, and compliment each other on a good day’s work. One or two nodded at Inuyasha, and he gave back a confused head tilt.

After the last stragglers had finally departed, Miroku plopped down with a heavy sigh, reaching for the water that sat between him and the hanyou. “We did better than expected! Tomorrow we can do the roof, and then it’s just making sure it’s safe from the elements. It’s too late in the season for most of the planting, but there are a few late summer plants we can start when Sango and Kohaku get back.”

Inuyasha scratched at his ear. “Any word from them yet?” Two weeks ago, the brother and sister had taken Kirara to finally give their family a proper burial ceremony and final resting place, as well as fully gather any remnants their old home had to offer, and dispose of everything else.

Miroku shook his head. “I imagine the rain moved their direction, hopefully it sputtered out before it got to them, but if it caught them then it’ll set them back a few days.” He sighed. “I told Sango to take as much time as she needed….between finally properly having a chance to say goodbye, and being able to have a good talk with Kohaku all by herself...I don’t imagine they’ll want to rush it.”

If Inuyasha’s chest felt tight, he ignored it. “Yeah. That sounds...like they would enjoy it.” The monk had a habit of humming when he thought he was being perceptive, and Inuyasha wanted to hit him when he made that annoying sound. “What?”

“Oh, nothing. I just agree with you. There was nothing left of my father to say goodbye to.”

“.....I have nothing of my mother. She was the one who raised me.” Inuyasha couldn’t believe what he was saying, but he couldn’t seem to stop, in the early twilight blue. “I don’t even remember where we were from. I never knew my father, but I have Myoga’s stories and Tessaiga. But Mother...I don’t have anything but one or two memories.” His throat felt tight. “The people I lose, I’ve never gotten to say goodbye.”

Miroku was silent beside him, and Inuyasha knew his friend was thinking the same thing: everything Kagome had left behind for the last time had been lost, covered in debris or washed down the river before she had disappeared from their life.

“Inuyasha…”

Quickly standing, the hanyou walked to the house and started examining it. “Kaede’s going to be pleased to have some breathing room, finally.”

Letting go of whatever he was about to say, Miroku smiled and stood. “She still will have Shippo, and you, crowding her.”

“Keh. I sleep on the roof unless it’s raining. Otherwise it’s too noisy, with snores and shuffles.” He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

Miroku laughed. “I won’t miss that.”

“You’re one of the worst!”

“I can finally sleep easy.” Miroku studied his hand before laying it on the wood of his new home. “I have the foundations of a life I never thought I’d live to see.”

Inuyasha studied him for a moment. Then, gruffly, he muttered, “I’m glad you do. Honestly.” The monk reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

“You coming back to the village now?”

Inuyasha shook his head. “Later, maybe.” At the monk’s farewell, he let his feet carry him to the only part of the forest that held anything for him. Crouching down and propping his chin on the old wood of the Bone Eater’s Well, Inuyasha stared down into the dark.

His home was somewhere in the future, living her life, and he was here, waiting.


	2. 1.2 Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case this was unclear, each chapter is a different season. I will be covering all the seasons per year of Kagome being gone.

The air grew crisp long before the harvest did, although it didn’t take long for the flora to match the nights in beauty.

The reds and oranges complemented Miroku and Sango’s new house well, and Kirara especially seemed to love one maple tree in particular; able to sit with her friends and keep watch while basking in the sunlight suited her well. 

With the chillier air, Kaede’s hips had her in need of help, so often Inuyasha would take her on her rounds to neighboring villages, while Shippo and Miroku often assisted her in gathering her supplies. 

“You old bag, why don’t you let Miroku start handling this stuff? You’re obviously getting too old to keep seeing to the villagers, and I’m getting sick of carrying you around.”

“Hush, Inuyasha.” Kaede punctuated her order with a small whap between his ears with her cane. “Miroku is many things, but he is not adept in much of my duties, nor would I imagine Sango would feel comfortable with him doing those tasks.”

Inuyasha snorted. “Is he still perverted even with a wife?”

Kaede sighed. “We will do well to not find out, methinks.” At Inuyasha’s muttered agreement, she continued. “Sango had offered me the use of Kirara, you did not have to come along today.”

“Hah! With your ancient bones one fall from her would be it for you! Would those twigs you call fingers even be able to hang on?”

“I am not as decrepit as you seem to think, Inuyasha!”

Inuyasha opened his mouth to respond, but stopped himself, slowing down and sniffing the air intently. “What…?”

“I feel it too.” Kaede scanned the forest. “We best hurry to the village.”

“Hang tight with those twigs.” Keeping his hands under her legs, Inuyasha tensed his legs and then leapt, running along the trees at a quicker pace. “I just don’t understand why that bastard is here.”

“Who is it, Inuyasha?”

* * *

 

The first thing they noticed was the quiet. The villagers should have been loud, celebrating another day of harvest and life, bragging and gossiping over food and letting the kids do last minute running to tire themselves before bed.

But the majority of the villagers were in their house already, huddled and peeking out of their windows if they dared. A few brave souls huddled near Kaede’s home, grasping their sorry collection of weapons in trembling hands to protect their village, letting out an audible sigh of relief when they spotted the local village hanyou.

And the reason why turned an impassive face to Inuyasha as he came bounding down the main road.

“Sesshomaru you bastard! What the hell do you want?” He knelt, letting Kaede and then stood, one hand on Tessaiga. 

Jaken squawked. “How dare you address Sesshoumaru-sama in that manner?!”

Rin skipped up from where she was tossing leaves into the river. “Inuyasha! Kaede-sama! Hello!” 

Sesshoumaru and his companions had disappeared shortly after the final battle. All Inuyasha knew was that there had been a very tense moment where Sango had raced after them with Kohaku, but had come back unharmed, and unwilling to discuss her actions with them. He had not heard from his brother since then.

Sesshoumaru walked towards them then, and Jaken scowled as he was once more ignored. Inuyasha’s hand tightened on his hilt the closer Sesshoumaru got, and the youkai stopped with visible annoyance. “Step aside, Inuyasha. I’m not here to talk to you.” His eyes drifted to Kaede. “I wish to speak to the Miko.”

“What the fuck?” Was Inuyasha’s eloquent response, and a small part of his brain registered that in the past around Rin or Shippo that would have gotten him a stern saying of his name, but she wasn’t here so he couldn’t let himself think that.

Kaede stepped out from behind Inuyasha and squared her shoulders, a curious look in her eyes. “Sesshoumaru-sama. Welcome. What business do you have here?”

Sesshoumaru nodded his head to Kaede. Inuyasha almost felt his jaw drop. His brother, the ruler of a youkai kingdom and someone who had no use for any human minus the little girl he traveled with, treating Kaede with a semblance of….respect?

“May we speak privately, Miko?”

“Yes. Yes, I think that should be fine.” Kaede eyed him curiously and shuffled forwards to her door.

“You can’t be serious!” Inuyasha gaped at them, as Kaede held the straw open for Sesshoumaru enter, bending as he did so.

“Hush, Inuyasha.” Kaede smiled at him and followed the youkai in. 

Rin came running up to Inuyasha and grabbed his hand. “Oh, Inuyasha, come talk to the villagers with me! I tried to get them to talk, but they were so scared of Sesshoumaru-sama that they could barely look at me!”

He let himself get dragged along to the small huddle of villagers, and when they stared at him and then at the girl, he just shrugged. He could see other people starting to poke their heads out, confident now that Inuyasha was there, but still wary.

“Hi!” Rin said, introducing herself and Jaken, and rattling onto the rapidly bemused brave souls who had attempted to protect their village.

As the sun began to set, the village had slowly come to a cautious quiet, that only dissipated when the inu-youkai reappeared from Kaede’s hut, the miko following behind with a secret smile.

“Rin, come.” And though the villagers shrank back in his wake, they watched him curiously and did not hide.

“Bye!” Rin gave Inuyasha a wave and Kaede a deep bow before chasing after her lord. 

Making his way to his landlady, Inuyasha scowled. “What the hell was that about?”

Kaede watched them go, before turning a very amused and satisfied look to Inuyasha.

“It appears I am to have an apprentice starting soon.”


	3. 1.3 Winter

With the amount of snow, the well was just a hole in the ground. Inuyasha perched, feet balanced carefully on the ledge, as he looked down.

White. It was everywhere. Inuyasha would give anything to have shades of black, blue, and green standing beside him. 

Later, on his way back to the village, he kept his face turned towards the clouds, because seeing only one pair of footprints made his chest hurt more than the frozen air did.

* * *

“I’m so glad the house got finished before winter.” Miroku said, as Inuyasha handed off another bundle of chopped wood to another villager, who thanked them profusely and close the door. “I can’t imagine all of us in one hut, no matter how much body heat would keep us warm.”

Inuyasha scoffed, adjusting the remaining bundles he carried as they trudged to the next house and repeated the process. “I don’t know that we’d survive, between Sango’s shitty attitude and all that food…” Inuyasha shuddered as he trailed off.

The youkai slayer was pregnant, and unfortunately for everyone, it was not going according to best case scenario. Unable to keep food down, not just in the morning but throughout the day, Sango was losing sleep, constantly hungry and aching, and now cold. 

One of the only humans that Inuyasha feared was cranky. That alone kept Inuyasha on his toes, but added to that, Sango’s nausea was a special treat just for those with enhanced senses. Shippo and Inuyasha had taken to being sure to always have a quick escape when they heard the tell-tale signs of her about to heave, and Inuyasha didn’t feel one bit guilty.

Mostly.

With the nights freezing, Inuyasha now slept inside Kaede’s hut with Shippo, Kaede, and Rin, who had arrived during the last weeks of harvesting. She was upbeat but sad, and Inuyasha had felt the silent threat coming from Sesshoumaru as he had departed.

Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Kohaku filled the other home, though tasks were often shared regardless. 

It was Miroku’s idea to deliver the firewood, and Inuyasha had been dragged along as the monk always tended to do to him.

The monk nodded, lips tight. “Kaede-sama said it was normal, but...it’s not easy to see her like this.” The pair fell silent, thinking of Sango’s dark circles under her eyes, and way Kirara curled around her whenever she sat.

“Sango’s tough. Tougher than this stupid shit.” Inuyasha kicked at the snow. “Kaede gave her that tea, right? Ain’t no time til Sango is kicking your ass again.”

Miroku laughed. 

* * *

Inuyasha sat against the wall, eyes drifting shut even as he fought to keep his head straight, staring into the fire as though he could keep himself awake just by watching the branches crackle and turn to cinders.

Across from him, Rin was tossing her head, eyes squinched tight and mouth muttering soundlessly. His ears twitched towards her, and he contemplated Kaede and Shippo, both of whom were deeply asleep. 

Deciding against poking them with his sword until they woke up, he straightened and crept over to the young girl. “Rin?” He repeated her name once more, and then carefully set a hand on her shoulder.

Opening her eyes, Rin stared at him in fright, until her eyes adjusted to the firelight and she recognized him. “Inu...yasha?”

Hunching his shoulders down and flattening his ears, the hanyo muttered, “You okay? You … had a nightmare.”

Rin sat up, crossing her arms. “Oh...yes. Sometimes I still…” She fell quiet, and Inuyasha didn’t push. “Do you ever have nightmares?”

He thought about it. “I think I have. When I was little. Not since...not in a long time.”  

He didn’t want to think about it, how his last nightmares had involved Kagome, and he had woken up eager to find her, make sure she was still alive and unhurt. And Kagome had always known, had always been there when he woke up, and given him that soft smile each time.

Rin nodded. “I’m sorry to have woken you.”

“You didn’t. You feel like going back to sleep?”

The girl shook her head, biting her lip. 

They sat, for awhile, listening to the wind cry around the house, until Rin’s eyes began to droop. She shivered and laid back down, gasping when Inuyasha dropped his fire rat robe over her.

“I know it’s not anything like what Sesshoumaru gave you, but it’s warm. Get some sleep, kid.  Kaede’s gonna need your help tomorrow.” Rin grinned at Inuyasha and pulled the fabric to her nose and snuggled in. She was asleep within moments.

Tilting his head back, Inuyasha closed his eyes.

* * *

“Inuyasha, you can’t seriously be considering going out in this storm! Even as a hanyo you’ll be risking your health.”

“Keh, what do you know?”

“Kaede-sama is right, don’t be an idiot!” Shippo tugged on his pants and pouted up at him. “Just wait until tomorrow.”

The hanyou could have throttled him. Once upon a time he would have, but instead he just kicked his leg out and let the little kitsune roll away.

“Shut it, all of you!” With that said, the hanyo threw open the door and jumped into the cold, cursing as he was hit with the sting of it. Still, he didn’t let it deter him as he made his much slower than usual path into the forest, not stopping until he got to the bone eater’s well.

There was nothing there but more snow.

* * *

When he made it back to Kaede’s no one spoke, but there was hot soup waiting for him, and Shippo shared Kaede’s blanket that night so that Inuyasha could have his own.

By the end of the storm, Inuyasha had caught a fever that took two days to recede.

Mainly because he wouldn’t stop going to the well.

_ She was never there. _


	4. 1.4 Spring

The villagers were the first to start talking about it.

“Have you noticed how Inuyasha hasn’t been around lately?”

“So odd, he used to come through every day with one of them.”

“He left Kaede-sama to come back? Is that boy insane?”

“Oh, here he comes with Kaede-sama, guess her rounds took longer than usual.”

“Has it really been a year?”

“Do you think Kagome-sama will return?”

“If she hasn’t by now…”

“Poor Inuyasha.”

* * *

 

There were flowers growing in the well and Inuyasha ripped them off, crushing them in his shaking hands.

 

* * *

 

Sesshoumaru had come once when winter had started, bringing Rin new fabrics and kimonos, and gifts to ease the harsh winter and accommodate her growth. 

The brothers met again when Kaede had bade Inuyasha return to the village and fetch more supplies, for a woman had gone into labor earlier than expected. After he had done so, she had informed him of their intentions to stay in the village until the next morning, so he had left then. On his way back, he smelled his brother. Hesitating just a moment, he sighed and altered his course.

Sesshoumaru was standing on a hill, gazing off into the distance as the wind swirled around him. Inuyasha landed behind him. 

“She’s helping Kaede over in another village. Probably won’t be done until early in the morning. So if you want to distract her, you can, or you can wait.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Just thought you should know.” 

His older brother turned to him. Nodding, he walked away. 

The wind wound through Inuyasha’s hair and then followed Sesshoumaru.

It had been a long time since Inuyasha had considered Sesshoumaru family, but in that moment the hanyou spared a thought of what might have been, if in a different lifetime.

* * *

 

Rin and Shippo were competing on who could make the most (and best) flower crowns fastest. A pile of flowers lay between them, and they giggled as they each tried to make sure to snatch the ones the other was reaching for. Kohaku sat  on Rin’s other side, polishing and sharpening his weapon, and was in charge of putting hers on when she was done so she could work on the next one, a task he did with a fond smile for them both.

Kirara, in her large form, sprawled near them, Sango leaned heavily against her, her belly heavily rounded, and although the woman found it easier to eat, the pregnancy was still taking a toll on her. She watched the children’s game while sewing.

The sun was still weak, but the rain had finally let up for the first time in weeks. The land was full of color, rich greens and pinks and yellows. 

Inuyasha sprawled on the roof, focused only on the inside of his eyes, ears twitching to keep up with the conversation. 

Sango gasped, sudden and quick, and though Inuyasha had not sensed any danger he had rolled to his feet and was beside her in an instant. “What’s the matter?” 

Across the way, Kohaku had also tightened his hand on his weapon while Rin and Shippo looked on, wide eyed. Sango grinned at Inuyasha.

“Oh, Inuyasha, here!” She grabbed her hand and pressed it to her belly.

“What the--” But before Inuyasha could pull his hand away, he felt it: a flutter of movement, and then a light pressure against his hand. Jaw dropping, he looked at Sango. “The fu...is that…?”

Sango nodded, eyes shiny. “It’s the baby.” She turned to Kohaku, and Inuyasha pulled his hand back as her brother and the children surrounded her, babbling away and taking turns having Sango grab their hands and feel the little movements. 

He took a few steps back and sat down, staring at his hand, and then at Sango. She was so happy, he thought, remembering how she had been when they had first met. She had lost her whole family, and had a death wish, and now she…

Inuyasha stared at his hand dumbly, even as the clouds slowly darkened, and the birds quit singing in preparation of a downpour. Shippo helped gather Sango’s sewing, and Kohaku helped his sister up, and then up the stairs into their home.

A light weight fell onto Inuyasha’s head, and he looked up into Rin’s smiling face. She studied the flower crown on his head, and then nodded. “Yes, that one is so pretty on you!” Inuyasha just stared at her, and flicked an ear. She giggled.

“When Kagome-san gets back, I’ll make her one too!”

Inuyasha actually flinched before he could stop himself. “What?”

Rin looked at him, and for a moment her eyes held more wisdom than her age suggested. “You miss her, don’t you? It’s okay. You don’t have to answer.” She threw a flower petal into the air and smiled as it drifted on the wind. “I can tell these things. You look just like Sesshoumaru-sama when he misses  _ her _ .”

“When he misses who?”

Rin giggled and put a finger over her lip. “Nope, that’s a secret.” Her smile faded, and she brought her knees to her chest. “But Kagome-san will be back, right? That’s what Kaede and Shippo hope.”

Inuyasha wanted to rip the flowers off, but he didn’t. “It’s going to rain. Kid. Better get inside.”

He ran, ignoring the rain drops that splattered on his face long before the clouds let them go.


	5. 2.1 Summer

“So….hot….”

Sango laid in the meager shade of Kaede’s hut, Shippou fanning her with a worried look. Today’s heat was unbearable to the heavily pregnant woman, so much so that she had refused to let Kirara snuggle with her. She had come to Kaede’s because she swore that she needed the exercise, but the day had quickly gone from wet to sweltering. After Kaede and her apprentice had examined the youkai slayer, the two had gone on their rounds--sticking close to the village today, as Sango was not the only pregnant woman in town.

Inuyasha snorted from his place, also in the shade. “Why didn’t you just stay in your house, Sango? Get scared?” Sango’s house had more shade than Kaede’s, and a bit more of a breeze. A shoe hit him in the forehead. “Fuck!”

“I’ve been going stir crazy, with the rain and no one to talk to.” She held a hand out to Inuyasha. “Give me my shoe back.”

Inuyasha scowled at her but walked over and dropped the shoe near her. “How long until the monk is back anyways? You’re more violent when he’s gone.” He got another shoe to the face. “Dammit Sango!”

She grinned weakly at him. “Sorry, Inuyasha. I just seem to have a terrible temper lately…”

“Reminds me of you, Inuyasha!” Shippou chimed in, earning himself a solid smack on the head from the hanyou. “Seeeeeee!” He whined, shifting closer to Sango, who held another shoe up threateningly at Inuyasha. 

Scowling, Inuyasha rolled his eyes. “You guys are impossible.” He paced away, ignoring Sango’s call of his name and Shippou’s response. 

* * *

Some houses down, one of the village ladies was struggling to lift a bucket of water. What was her name? Inuyasha quickened his pace when he saw the little toddler strapped to her back.

“Keh, stop. Here.” He ignored her startled look as he grabbed the bucket from her and held it easily. “What are you doing with this?”

“It needs to boil, in the pot there…” 

He nodded, and carried it the rest of the short way, noticing her heavy limp as she walked with him. He poured it into the heavy pot, and stood back as she lit the fire.

“Thank you, Inuyasha.” 

Shit, now he felt bad. “What happened to your leg, Sh...uhm.”

The woman-she must have been in her twenties, laughed. “Shio. My name is Shio, and this is my son Maeda.” She indicated her leg. “It was a youkai attack. It must have been a good five years since then. I didn’t live in a village with a Miko, you see. It healed wrong. Kaede-sama did what she could once I made it here.” The toddler let out a shriek and laughed as Inuyasha flinched away. “Thank you for the help, Inuyasha.”

He shrugged, uncomfortable. Spying a second bucket, he grabbed it. “Can I borrow these?” At her nod, he mumbled something like a thank you and rushed off towards the river.

* * *

Sneaking onto the roof was extremely easy. Dumping a bucket of cold river water on Shippou was more satisfying than hitting him. But the best part was Sango’s hysterical laughter as the kitsune got drenched and she got a refreshing sprinkle.

The other bucket was used to make stew for Kaede and Rin’s return on that long summer night.

* * *

The nights were comfortable, the wind and the leftover heat causing a pleasant juxtaposition between cool and warm. 

The thing about youkai, even hanyous, were that they didn’t need as much sleep as the rest of their village. That’s what led to Inuyasha and Shippou laying on the roof of Sango’s house, staring up at the stars. Shippou had been chattering, quietly for him, and Inuyasha had been listening with his eyes closed, flicking his ears in response to Shippou.

“What do you think the stars are? My dad used to tell me they were all the yesterdays, set up in the sky for us to remember the good times and the bad.”

Inuyasha cracked an eye open and stared up. The sky was clear tonight, and the stars were especially bright. 

“I wonder what Sango will tell her kid? Maybe I should tell her what Otousan told me.”

“Yeah. It’s an idea for sure.”

“What did your mom tell you?”

Inuyasha went still. Talking about his mother still hurt, even after all these years...but tonight it didn’t cause the sharp pain that it usually did, just a vague ache in his throat. And Shippou never talked about his father…

“She...” he cleared his throat, “she used to tell me stories about these kamis and their fights and loves. But she also…” That dull ache got worse but he swallowed and stared at the sky until his eyes watered. “She also would say that they were wishes waiting for someone brave enough to give them life.” He smiled. “She said, ‘Everyone has hopes, but not everyone is willing to voice them, and even fewer are willing to try for them.’ That’s one of my only clear memories of her.”

He felt Shippou’s tiny paw patting his cheek. Startled, he turned his head to look. When had the annoying brat gotten that close? Shippou didn’t say anything as he laid down almost on top of Inuyasha, and Inuyasha didn’t say anything about how his arm was slowly going numb.

Neither ever mentioned the salt water between Shippou’s fingers.

 


	6. 2.2 Fall

The smell of blood was overwhelming.

There had been few youkai attacks in the past year, most of the more sentient youkais knew that a powerful monk, two youkai slayers, and a very dangerous hanyou resided in this area and wouldn’t stand for any violence. There was also the fact that Lord Sesshoumaru had begun to visit this town often and only a fool would dare cross him.

The less sentient creatures still got the gist of things, especially in the wake of Naraku’s aftermath and the way the clean up went.

In the past year Inuyasha hadn’t had a need to smell blood, especially as it oozed out of a friend in excess.

Every inch of him wanted to rip down the hut and dig his claws into something to stop Sango’s pained cries and grunts. But that wouldn’t do her any good, it wasn’t that kind of scenario.

So he had to sit, useless, outside in the chilly pre-dawn air, and clench his claws into his knees to keep from running--away, into the hut, anywhere where the blood and cries didn’t shake him to the core.

He could hear Kaede barking out instructions, her voice both gruff and soothing, and Rin answering. Miroku was in there as well, untraditional as it was, helping Sango in all the ways he could. Kohaku stood, rigid next to Kirara, while Shippou was bleary eyed and trying not to fall back asleep.

Sango let out another low scream. Kohaku turned away, Shippo turned white, and Inuyasha cursed, feeling his claws draw his own blood. 

Kirara walked over to him and chirped to get his attention, and then weaved around Kohaku’s legs comfortingly.  Inuyasha studied the kid.

“Yo, Kohaku, what are you doing crying?”

Shippou looked up at the boy while Kohaku looked at Inuyasha, fear plain as day on his face. 

“Women in our village usually have difficulty giving birth...due to all their injuries. And Sango has been hurt alot more than some of them...” It was whispered, but Inuyasha could hear it clearly. 

“Keh, do you really think something like that will happen to your sister?” At Kohaku’s uncertain look, he rolled his eyes. “Sango’s too damn strong. And she wouldn’t want you worried, okay? She ain’t about to kick the bucket now. Stop fretting and get ready to meet her kid.”

Kohaku nodded and took a deep breath, and then sat down and began petting Kirara, who crawled into his lap purring.

Moving over to Inuyasha, Shippou pulled at Inuyasha’s hands and looked pointedly at his knees. Inuyasha scowled and whispered “Shut up. It’s because of the smell.”

Nodding, Shippou sat next to him, and Inuyasha sighed deeply and closed his eyes, hands loose on his legs.

* * *

 

When Rin had come out with buckets to be emptied and refilled, Inuyasha had jumped-literally- at the chance to take them from her. He emptied them a bit away from the hut, and then rushed to the river. 

The fresh air cleared his head, and he splashed the water onto his face as well. Looking at his knees, he saw that since had kept his claws out of them, they had healed quickly. 

On his return, he took extra care to not spill any of the water, and Rin came out, thanked him, and walked back in. He paced for several moments, until he saw Kohaku looking at him nervously.

Inuyasha plopped down on the ground. Sango was one of the strongest people he knew...When they had first met, she had hated him due to a misunderstanding. He had smelled her blood as they had fought, and the amount that leaked out was concerning...especially for someone like him who had never felt concern for an enemy before.

But by that time Kagome and Shippou had become family, even if he hadn’t realized it, and Miroku had been dragged into their path and decided to stay and befriend them all. And Inuyasha knew Naraku was a manipulative bastard, and Sango had been just like him: Angry and alone. 

And Inuyasha had clumsily, and probably badly, tried to make a friend on his own. And then she had stayed, and become the last piece to their little group, and if Sango…

Sometimes he still remembered when they had all been poisoned, and how still and white and  _ silent _ they had been, remembered Shippou’s heartbreak even as his own stopped beating and…

A shrill cry broke through the sunrise.

* * *

 

Rin came out again shortly after that, and smiled at them all. “Sango is alright.” Kohaku visibly wiped his eyes, Inuyasha felt his shoulders relax, and Shippou let out a small cheer. “And the babies are perfect.”

“Babies?” Shippou asked. 

Nodding, Rin walked to Kohaku and grinned at him, but addressed all of them. “Two little girls. She had twins.” She took Kohaku’s hand and pulled him. “She wanted you to be the first one in! Come on!” They went inside and soon soft murmurs could be heard.

Shippou tugged his hand. “Two. Sango had two…” He seemed to be in a daze.

Inuyasha gave him a slight tap on the head. “Happens sometimes, brat.”

Miroku’s voice floated out. “Shippou! Inuyasha! Come in!” The sheer happiness in the monk’s voice even as he fought to keep it even and soft made Shippou giggle and scamper in quickly.

Inuyasha took a deep breath. He carefully moved through the entrance, and paused after he was through. 

Sango lay in the middle of the floor, blankets piled behind her to prop her up. Her face was drawn and pale, but she was glowing and held one baby to her chest. Kohaku sat on one side of Sango, gentling cradling a tiny creature in his arms. Shippou hung on his shoulder, staring down mesmerized. Miroku sat slightly behind the both of them, between them, and one of his hands was carding through her hair. His eyes raised to Inuyasha’s, and there were tears in the new father’s. He gently tapped Sango and whispered to her, and the woman glanced at Inuyasha.

“Inuyasha, come here.” She indicated the spot on her other side. 

Mindful of Kaede’s spot on the floor where she sat and cleaned her supplies while Rin cleaned up, he moved through the hut as if in a daze, feeling his heartbeat in his ears. He knelt down, crossing his legs, suddenly mindful of his dirty feet and the blood specks still under his nails. He didn’t belong here, a small part of his mind whispered suddenly, and the hanyou found it hard to breathe.

“Inuyasha. I want you to meet your nieces. Here, take her.” Sango leaned forward and Inuyasha held out his hands automatically, awkwardly, ears suddenly shamed flat. Miroku was there then, and corrected Inuyasha’s hands, a patient and steady voice brimming with affection as he explained how to transfer the baby and position the fingers and arms, and Inuyasha found himself holding the tiny girl, eyes locked on her.

Her eyes weren’t open, and her face was red and wrinkly, but somehow Inuyasha found his heart slowing to keep pace with hers. He looked over at Kohaku, at the identical expression on that baby’s face, and felt a small stillness in his heart, one part of his life, a certainty that he had only felt once before, gazing down at a black haired girl from the future while riding on her bike. One truth he could depend on for the rest of his life.

_ I am lonely, but I am not alone. _


	7. 2.3 Winter

Kaede had slipped for the first time in her life, and bruised her hip hard enough to be on bed rest for at least a week. 

The ice was everywhere this winter. There had been unusual amount of rain that had frozen quickly, and the whole village was over it. With Kaede out of commission, Miroku had become the one accompanying Rin on house calls. Even Inuyasha had tried to stay inside as much as possible. 

Shippou had been spending more of his time with other Kitsunes, learning how to be an even more annoying brat. When Myoga had told him that Kaede had fallen, he had come back in a frenzy, ready to take on Naraku again himself if necessary. Kaede had been grateful and touched, but soon all of them had gotten sick of being cooped up together.

Inuyasha would never admit it, but in the immediate aftermath of her fall, he had been even more annoying than the kitsune. The hanyou just hid it better (and no one would ever tell him differently, lest they lose their amusement).

Still, the house was too crowded sometimes for Inuyasha (he didn’t like seeing Kaede so in pain, so pale and exhausted and laying in an awkward way to avoid putting pressure on her leg.  It was wrong because she was the one he had known the longest and wasn’t supposed to look like that). So instead he spent much time with Sango and the twins.

The babies were loud, boisterous even at their young age, and utterly fearless. They wriggled and whined and cooed and ate, and Inuyasha found them fascinating. 

“Really, Inuyasha, you would think that after everything you’ve done: bare handedly slaughtering youkai, feeling the textures under your nails, being inside monsters, all of that and you’re brought down by spit up.”

Inuyasha made a face at his friend as he hunched by the door. “Shut up Sango. Or I swear I’ll go check on Kaede.”

Sango laughed. “Oh no, please don’t leave me with these two alone! I’ll go crazy again.” Kohaku had answered a request to help a small village beset by a trio of youkai, and with Miroku tending to the villages, Sango had been left many times with just the babies for company during the blustery storms. She finished wiping the mess up from one of the kid’s chin as Inuyasha crept closer again. “I mean, I just don’t get it. You are fine when they throw up and even when they poop, but a little bit of spit up makes you gag?”

Inuyasha shrugged and proceeded to lay down, poking the tiny feet gently with his claws, eliciting tiny laughter. “It went inside my ear, Sango, okay? It’s gross and disgusting and dammit I said shut up!” 

Sango couldn’t stop laughing.

* * *

By the time Inuyasha went back to Kaede’s that night, the moon was high. He slipped in carefully, and checked on the occupants: Rin was curled into her bed, and Kaede’s breathing was steady. Shippo sat near the coals, wide eyed despite the late hour. The hanyou waited for a moment, but when nothing was said, he mentally shrugged and figured nothing was wrong.

Settling into the corner, Inuyasha dropped his head and closed his eyes.

“Inuyasha?”

“What, brat?”

“Kaede’s gonna be okay, right?”

Inuyasha groaned and opened his eyes. “Of course she is. She’s a tough old broad, dummy. She’s been attacked by youkai and came out standing, you really think a stupid piece of ice will take her down?”

The corner of Shippou’s mouth twitched up. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

The older youkai scoffed. “Guess? Have I ever been wrong before? Geesh.”

Silence reigned for several moments, before Shippou spoke again, voice hushed and pained. “I was thinking of Kagome.”

Inuyasha tensed. “Yeah?”

“And I..” guilt leaked into his voice and he turned finally to Inuyasha. “I can’t remember how she laughed. I don’t remember the sound anymore.”

The pain ripped through Inuyasha, and he leaned forward, clutching his knees. “Be quiet.” 

Shippou’s voice was panicked and tearful. “Was it like Sango’s? Where she couldn’t breathe between them? Or like Rin’s, just soft and behind her hands? I can’t remember anymore!”

“Shut up.”

“But Inuyasha--”

“I said to shut the fuck up!” Inuyasha stood up, not knowing if he had whispered or roared that, and glared, unseeing, at the room. There was a pounding in his head, and he turned and ran out the door.

* * *

The cold nipped at his ear, his toes, his eyes, but he ignored it, running faster and faster and faster, trying to outrun the pain in his friend’s voice, the fact that his mind blanked at the question because how does one describe laughter?  How does one say that even he can’t quite remember the sound of that immediately, that he knows her eyes and her tears and how her voice shook when she was in pain…?

How her voice was incredulous angry when she yelled at him, and the steel sharper than any blade in her voice when she addressed their enemies, and how it could change as quickly as a cloud going past the sun…

_ She didn’t get to laugh enough here. Is that why she didn’t come back? Is that why she couldn’t come back? Dammit. _

He ran.

* * *

Their tree held no warmth for him tonight. He had gone to the well, contemplated jumping down like he had those first few days, but he knew in his heart it wouldn’t give him what he wanted. And then he had sat in the tree, his thoughts getting as low as the temperature.

_ It wasn’t Shippou’s fault. _

He had to go back eventually and face him. But...not yet. 

Not when he still didn’t have an answer.

* * *

 

The snow was crisp and fluffy when he finally was returning to the village. It moved effortlessly as he tread through it, and the thought that Souta enjoyed this type most caused a dull ache in him. 

Everything was numb, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

The sun was rising. He stopped for a moment and squinted at it. 

Slowly his surroundings came into a soft focus: A clearing, golden even with the snow, lone winter flowers blooming.

_ Kagome would like it here _ , he thought, turning his face to the the light, feeling his lashes begin to defrost.

* * *

“Inuyasha!”

“Inuyasha, get by the fire!”

“Here, get the blankets!”

“What were you thinking you idiot!”

Inuyasha ignored his friends’ worry and actions, barely registering a blanket thrown over his shoulders and Rin tugging him towards the fire and pushing him down. All of his attention was on the kitsune hovering nervously in the corner. Inuyasha attempted to crook a finger at him.

Shippou bounced over to him and threw his arms around him. “I’m so sorry Inuyasha!”

“Me too, Shippou.” He wrapped one arm around the quivering mess and finally let himself close his eyes.


	8. 2.4 Spring

The twins were teething, Kaede was back on her feet, and Inuyasha was left alone most days.

He didn’t mind. The twins didn’t try to bite him (something their parents had been worried about) because even they knew better than to mess with his claws, but they watched his ears with a focus that unnerved the hanyou.

Not to mention how loud they were. No, no, he would gladly give them some space.

He still went to the well once a day, and sometimes sat in the God tree for hours, but more and more he found himself drawn to that little clearing he had discovered on that past winter night.

It was just a little larger than the one Miroku and Sango had chosen to make their home in, and had thicker tree clusters growing around most of the sides. The side closest to the village was full of wildflowers, and from the top of the slight hill most of the village could be seen and heard. From one thick, tall tree he could see for miles, and he liked to sit near the top and listen to the wind while the sun shone down.

He thought about his mother sometimes, how she had stood tall in the midst of her estranged family members discussing her hatefully, how she had shielded him from their talk so that the most he dealt with was them turning from him with rude words. Until he had met Jinenji and his mother, he had never really considered that--until his mother had died, she had protected him from violence, from people spewing words at him, and how she had put her arms around him and unless he knew she was crying everything would be better. 

Sometimes, he thought about his father, what his life might have been like if he hadn’t died, if he had come back to find his mother and him. Despite the fact that Inuyasha had never met him, it was obvious--even to Inuyasha who had never considered himself all that bright--how much the powerful youkai had thought about Inuyasha’s future, and done everything he could to contribute to it, to protect and help. 

He avoided thinking about Sesshoumaru. He rarely thought about Kikyo - he had made his peace with her death, and any what-if thoughts had paled in comparison to the “what happened” facts.

Kagome was on his mind constantly.

The physical ache rarely came. Usually it was just a twinge of  _ Kagome would love this _ , and sometimes it was soft clearing of the throat when he realized once again that  _ Kagome isn’t here anymore _ . 

But when he was at the clearing, his thoughts were...content. Sometimes it was remembering moments, seeing in his mind the shine of her smile or the strength in her hands. Other times he spoke to her without making a noise, telling her a funny story about the twins, or the way Sango walked as though she had never been lost, or the way Miroku sometimes looked at his hand as though in wonder there wasn’t a hole in it, and how Shippou was growing into his tricky little ways and would one day be an actual threat.

He imagined sitting behind the bushes with her, spying on Kohaku and Rin’s conversations that often caused the boy to blush and the girl to be confused, which made a cycle of her moving closer and Kohaku blushing harder, and smiled at how he knew Kagome’s eyes would be sparkling with excitement and her hushed commentary, and then he smiled even more remembering all the times they had spied on Miroku and Sango (and been spied on by them).

Opening his eyes could bring him disappointment, but most of the time he felt ready to face another day without her.

* * *

Footprints crunched through the flowers, and Inuyasha lazily sniffed the air to see who approached. Flicking an ear, he hopped down from the tree and landed beside Kaede.

The old woman was looking around with her sharp eye. Inuyasha felt nervous without knowing why, and it only went away when Kaede nodded approvingly. 

“I can see why you come here.”

“Keh.” Inuyasha sat down. “Everything alright? You sure you should be walking up this hill, might break your arm old lady.”

Kaede rolled her eye. “I appreciate your concern, boy.”

She walked deeper into the clearing, examining it. “Fine spot indeed.”

“Fine spot for what?”

Kaede hummed. “Oh….could it be you haven’t…” She smiled at him. 

He scowled at her. “Haven’t what?”

“Oh, Inuyasha...you really are a funny creature indeed.” She ignored him as he walked over to her, rather she paid attention to the view. “It’s a beautiful spot here.”

He nodded and stuffed his hands into his sleeves. “So?”

“So nothing, just pointing out the obvious.” She turned to him. “Homes are funny things, aren’t they?” At his blank look, she continued. “Sometimes they can be people, sometimes they can be places, and sometimes they are actual houses. And houses can be homes, or they can be full of light or full of emptiness, depending. But you know what the most important part of a home?”

“...What?”

“Person, place, structure, feeling….it has to give you a room to grow, it has to give you a way to face the future.” She patted his shoulder. “This old lady is going to leave you to think about that, yes?”

Inuyasha listened to her leave, tilting his head as he looked over his surroundings.

Facing the future…

His future included Kagome, that much he knew. Whether it was ten years or ten decades, he knew that one day he would see her again. 

But….other than waiting, what sort of future did he face?

What sort of future would he build, with and without Kagome?


End file.
